It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted here. 

 

Not because you haven’t been on my mind - thinking about how I can show up more for my tribe and how I can squeeze in more beach time is pretty much my life.

 

But if you were following me on IG or FB, you know that over September my husband and I took a trip to Europe.

 

I did work through the first half annnnd then I disappeared.

 

No social media, no emails. I got more than a few messages asking if I was still alive.

 

And the thing I felt almost guilty to admit was - I was quiet on SM because I was too busy LIVING and loving my life.

 

Here’s what happened.

One very early and cold AF morning we hitched a ride on a logging train to take us to a remote cabin in the mountains (10/10 recommend).

 

After the most surreal 3 hour ride we arrived at our cabin.

 

I took in the view, made friends with the guard dog, and got a fire started impatiently stood by while my husband got a fire started.

 

Waiting to defrost my toes was the first time that I reached to check my phone.

 

It was also when I realized that we had no service.

 

Not a big deal. I love a good break from my phone.

 

So I settled in next to the fire to read a book.

 

That was the second time I checked my phone...a whopping 47 seconds after I’d first checked it.

 

Over the next two days we hiked, talked, hiked some more, read, and went to bed early - like sleeping and rising with the sun early.  

 

The thing that shocked me was how many times over those two days (knowing full well that I had no service and there would be no new likes, messages, or feed updates) that I reached for my phone.

 

Wtf am I doing on IG again?

Oh look, the same post I've been looking at since we lost service.

My hand is apparently possessed.

Cool, now looking at this picture for the twenty-seven thousandth time

Jesus, Julia. Put your phone down.

 

I LOVE some quality time in nature. And this trip had the all the makings of an incredible time - cozy fire in our cabin, jaw-dropping views, bottle o wine, the works.

 

But, honestly, I was on edge and irritable for most of it.

 

It was on our way back down the mountain when I was finally starting to feel refreshed, recharged, and present that it dawned on me WTF had been happening.

 

I was on vacation.

In Europe.

Exploring my husband’s home country.

And I had been numbing out more than half of it on my phone.

 

Every time I’d felt anxious, uncomfortable, or even just bored I’d been reaching for my phone.

 

I was a phone junkie, and our spontaneous trip into the mountains had just put me through detox.

 

I’d had no idea how much I depended on my phone to numb until I couldn’t.

 

Maybe it was the fresh mountain air, my mega lightbulb moment, or a divine whisper from the Get off Your Phone and Live Your Life Gods, but at that moment I decided that I wasn’t going to take my phone off airplane mode for the rest of my trip.

 

And you know what? I freaking LOVED it.

 

I won’t bore you with all the details, but I do want to share a few big things that I took away from the experience (LOLing at myself and the world right now that not going on SM for a week can even be described as an experience).

 

When I quit social media…

 

1.My anxiety reduced tenfold.

I’ve gotten good at managing my anxiety over the years (it’s kind of a thing that I do).

 

I occasionally experience anxiety (like all humans do) but I don’t consider myself an anxious person.

 

So imagine my surprise when I realized I could feel even calmer. Like zen. On a daily basis.

 

I realized that I’d developed a habit of numbing. Whenever I’d feel something uncomfortable, like anxiety or nervousness or not good enough thoughts or even when I was just bored - I was reaching for my phone.

 

I’d unconsciously turned numbing out by scrolling through social media into a habit.

 

The thing is though - numbing our emotions doesn’t work.

 

Emotions (the good feeling ones and the crappy feeling ones) always, always, ALWAYS serve a purpose.

 

They’re signs. They’re sent to help us decode the thoughts in our head.

 

They are warning signals that our thoughts, the environment we’re in, our circumstances, etc., do or don’t make us happy.

 

Tuning into our emotions is how we THRIVE.

 

When we numb them out we’re temporarily stuffing them down until they later and explode (and they always do) AND we don’t learn from them, which means we stay feeling stuck, purposeless, and confused.

 

2. I got a life-changing amount of sleep

Have you ever kept track of how many hours you spend at night on your phone?

 

It’s bad.

 

And it’s terrible for us.

 

Nighttime phone use keeps us wired (thanks blue light), and for most of us, it means we’re going to sleep hours later than we could be.

 

When I didn’t have the option of scrolling before bed, I read a book.

I TALKED with my husband.

I stretched and drank tea.

 

And let me tell you - I SLEPT.

 

I slept longer and more solidly through the night.

 

I woke up actually feeling refreshed and ready to go - without an alarm clock.

 

Life changing.

 

3. I suddenly had so much more time

How often throughout your week do you find yourself scrambling for an extra hour, wondering where the day goes and how you’re ever going to fit in everything?

 

Oh yeah, that was me.

 

Once my phone was out of the picture I suddenly had extra HOURS in my day.

 

That 5-minute bathroom break that somehow turns into 20?

The scrolling in the kitchen when you get home from work just to catch up that magically extends over into dinner?

The quick check here and the 30 minutes you ‘earned’ there add up!

 

The average American checks their phone every 12 minutes or 80 times a day.

 

80 TIMES.

 

If you saw a loved one doing ANYTHING else 80 times a day, I’m pretty sure we’d all be ready to stage an intervention.

 

80 times is too many times per day.

 

What if in a society that is CONSTANTLY stressed, instead of trying to fit more in we focused on cutting some of the unnecessary out?

4. I  remembered what it feels like to actually be present and engaged

Maybe it was the reduced anxiety, the better sleep or feeling like I suddenly had four extra hours in my day but I haven’t felt this present and engaged in what I’m doing in a while.

 

My guess is it was a combination of all of the above.

 

I’m also wondering if it had to do with the fact that I wasn’t comparing myself to someone else.

 

Instead of subconsciously comparing my outfit, my body, my work, my free time, my sense of humor, and even my vacation to someone else’s highlight reel,  I was just doing my thing.

 

To truly be ourselves, we have to STOP looking at everyone else for validation.

 

If you’re anything like most women I work with deep down you know EXACTLY who you are, what lights you up, what makes you tick, what makes you different and unique from every other person on this planet.

 

But you’ve gotten really good at ignoring that voice and looking to everything external to tell you instead.

 

Quitting social media allowed me to quiet the comparisons, shoulds, and judgments and just be.

 

It allowed me to be present, to engage in the experiences in front of me and mindfully observe.

 

5. I genuinely missed connecting with people.

Finally, this experiment highlighted for me that social media isn’t all bad and overrated.

 

I found that I really did miss connecting with people, getting a glimpse into their lives, sharing ups and downs and supporting one another (oh, what they designed SM for in the first place? Shocking).

 

I owe a lot of the incredible relationships in my life to social media and have used it over the years to stay in touch with friends living all over the world that I otherwise wouldn’t.

 

In intentional, limited amounts I still believe that social media is a powerful means of connection and forming a community that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

 

So in conclusion?

I’m grateful for my forced detox.

 

It allowed me to take a look at my life and habits and re-evaluate what was serving me and wasn’t.

 

Coming back, I want social media to be a part of my life.

 

But I want it to serve as an intentional tool that I use for limited amounts of time to connect, share, and inspire not to numb out, disengage, and hide.

 

What do you think?

 

Has social media and phone use gotten in the way of you REALLY LIVING? Has it made your anxiety worse?

 

I want to hear from you in the comments!

 

xo,

Julia