So we all know 2018 has been the year of self-care, right?

 

And by that I mean it’s the year we ALLLLL got on board with it!

 

SM, television, we’re all talking about how self-care isn’t selfish, it’s something we all need in order to really thrive.

 

And that’s SO SO good! Because it’s NOT selfish and we DO need it.

 

Buttttt are you actually practicing it? Have you made self-care a daily part of your life?

 

If you’re anything like most of the incredible women that I work with, my guess is you’re not.

 

Yes, you indulge in the occasional bubble bath, massage or you treat yoself day.

 

BUT self-care is still not a part of your daily routine.

 

And if it’s not - I can guarantee you that you're going to be feeling some degree (maybe just a small undercurrent or maybe a huge, daily, gnawing feeling of) stuck, frustrated, held back, anxious and just not really thriving.

 

I can also guarantee you that if you implement the 3 super simple steps that I’m going to share with you today to actually make self-care a part of your daily routine you are going to notice yourself feeling significantly more calm, more confident, a little more sparkly and most importantly - more authentically YOU.

 

This is one of those cornerstone habits and mindset shifts that when you implement is going to make all the difference.

 

Now in order to really make self-care a part of your daily life, and I mean like a daily habit that becomes so regular it’s just natural, not something forced or an afterthought when you’re already burnt out - we have to really look at what self-care is.

 

So what is it?

Self-care is massages, it’s trips to the spa, it’s eating ice cream, it’s taking a bubble bath.

 

It’s also less sexy things like staying in at night to recharge and sleep, shaving your legs, drinking enough water throughout the day, moving your body and choosing foods that really nourish it.

 

Self-care is meeting yourself wherever you're at.

 

It’s asking yourself what you need in that moment to really thrive and doing that thing.

 

Instead of looking at self-care as a list of activities you can do, I like to think of self-care instead as a lifestyle.

 

Self-care is nothing more than parenting yourself.

 

Huh?

 

Well think about it

 

Parents fill so many roles in our lives, but at the core of it - they have 2 fundamentally important jobs.

 

1. Keep their children safe and healthy. Parent's need to make sure that their children learn to cross the street and brush their teeth. They need to make sure that they have food, enough fruits and vegetables, and plenty of sleep.
2. They love their children unconditionally. For those of you who are moms I know you get this - no matter how much your kid is pushing your buttons or trying your temper - no matter what they do - you love the hell out them.

 

That’s the role that a parent fills for us.

 

So as we age - whether or not we have our parents there for us - in order to really thrive physically and emotionally as adults - we have to learn to fill that role for ourselves.

 

As adults, we love to say 'say screw the rules! I can stay up and watch Netflix till 2am, I’m a grown up. I can eat what I want, sit all day, drink all day, not take naps!

 

Any parent who sees their child engaging in behavior that doesn't really benefit them is going to enforce the rules to keep them safe and healthy!

 

'I know you want to watch tv, but you need to sleep so you can get up in the morning. Yes, you have to eat breakfast, no you can't lay around all day - go outside and play!'

 

In order to thrive physically and mentally - you have to move your body daily, you have to get time outside, you need to sleep at least 8 hours a night, you have to eat foods that nourish you and eat fewer foods that make you feel like crap.

 

But those rules aren't sexy and we don't like to follow them.

 

Daily self-care is being your own parent and enforcing the rules.

 

It's holding yourself accountable to the habits that let you feel good, even when you don’t want to.

The unconditional love part of being a parent? Yea, that’s also your job now.

 

Think about the way you talk to yourself when you don’t do something that you should, when you screw up or are feeling ashamed, frustrated or not good enough.

 

Would your parent talk to you that way? Would you talk to a child that way?

 

• You didn’t get up at 5am to workout? God, Sally you’re such a lazy piece of crap.
• Eating donuts again, huh? Get your shit together.
• Stop feeling ashamed and lonely - you’re such a loser.

 

You would NEVER say those things to a child (or any other person for that matter).

 

No. You would come from a place of love.

 

Instead, you’d say,

• I know you want to work out and you’re disappointed in yourself that you didn’t. That’s OK. Let’s figure out why and come up with a better plan for tomorrow!
• Donuts are delicious. It’s OK to eat delicious foods but sometimes they don’t make us feel that great. It’s even easier when you’re hungry and haven’t had a lot of real food. Let’s go make dinner.
• It’s OK to feel ashamed and lonely, everyone does sometimes. Even though we don’t like how it feels, those feelings are there to teach us. Just because you feel that way doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. You’re still awesome and so very loved.

 

Can you SEE how different life would start to feel if you spoke to yourself that way?

 

Daily self-care is nothing more than parenting yourself.

 

It’s holding yourself accountable to the things that you don’t always want to do and doing them anyway.

 

It’s coming from a place of unconditional love and choosing your self-talk very carefully.

 

This is so much bigger than scheduling a massage once a month. This is a way of life.

 

So now I want to give you a few really practical exercises that you can use to start to put this mindset shift into practice and make it a daily habit for yourself.

1). Identify your DAILY non-negotiables.

 

These are the habits and practices that NO MATTER WHAT you prioritize on a daily basis - the things that are going to allow you to show up and not just exist but really thrive.

 

They’re different for everyone basic foundational ones are:

• Sleeping 8 hours/night
• Moving your body in a way that feels good
• Eating fruits and vegetables
• Staying hydrated
• Some kind of mindset practice like meditation, journaling, affirmations, yoga - whatever works for you.

 

These are the boring self-care habits that you’re not always going to want to do but you know that when you do them you feel 110% better.

 

2. Talk to your inner child

 

When you catch yourself thinking self-deprecating thoughts and putting yourself down - this is your cue to turn on the parent hat and come from a place of love.

 

When you notice this happening - I want you to pause and envision yourself having this same conversation with a 6-year-old or even better your 6-year-old self.

 

Tell her what she needs to hear.

 

So say you’re feeling really anxious and you’re beating yourself up for being so needy and emotional all the time.

 

Pause and reframe.

 

Oh hey there. You’re feeling really anxious right now. And that makes you wonder what’s wrong with you, why you’re so different than everyone else.

It’s OK for you to feel this way. There is nothing wrong with you.

What do you need right now? What do you think would help you to feel a little better? OK! Let’s go do that!

 

3. Find one way to pamper yourself daily

 

Because this is also self-care and you are worth it.

 

Find a rich eye cream or a hand lotion that you love, buy a fancy tea that makes you feel indulgent, give yourself 10 extra minutes every morning to do your hair or makeup.

 

It doesn’t matter what it is.

 

Identify ONE thing that you can do for yourself every day that is JUST FOR YOU.

 

It shouldn’t be practical and it shouldn't benefit anyone else.

 

Find that one little thing that you can do for yourself every single day to remind yourself that you are whole, you are so much more than enough, and you deserve all of the love that this universe has to offer.

 

Daily self-care is nothing more than parenting yourself: holding yourself accountable to the habits that allow you to thrive and always, always, coming from a place of love.

 

Take these 3 steps that I’ve shown you today and start to implement them - I guarantee you will start to see a shift almost immediately.

 

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