7 TED Talks to Help You Love Yourself
Why is it that we’re always our own worst critic?
It doesn’t seem to matter how smart, successful, wildly beautiful, or incredible that we are - the voice in our head loves to focus on how we’re not thin, pretty, good, smart, or good enough. If anyone else heard the things that we say to ourselves, they’d be shocked.
I’m too fat.
God, I’m ugly.
Why am I so dumb, how did this happen again?
Who am I kidding, this is way out of my league.
I’ll never be that successful.
I’m just bad with money/men/friendships etc.
Stupid, you blew that!
They’re all judging me.
She must be mad at me. She wouldn’t really be friends with someone like me.
They’re too beautiful/thin/smart/successful for me to belong.
We’re SO good at finding the light and beauty in other people, but can find it so damn hard to do the same for ourselves. Especially when we’ve spent 20-30 years thinking the same nasty thoughts over and over again.
A deep rooted lack of self-love isn’t just a problem because it makes us feel horrible - it shapes every single one of our actions. When we don’t believe deep down that we’re worthy and loved, we:
- Binge eat chocolates, cookies, or pizza to numb the feeling
- Push away people who want to love us deeply and feel isolated and alone
- Sabotage our careers and work advancements because we don’t believe we deserve it
- Judge other people for being too fat, pretty, high maintenance, rich or fake
- Drink till we black out to ease our anxieties of being judged by people around us
- Set goals, start to see success, tell ourselves we don’t deserve it and crash
- Get stuck in a cycle of stress, anxiety, and depression that feels impossible to stop
- Lash out at other people verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically
The truth is that until you come to love yourself deeply (and I don’t mean just accept yourself) for ALL of your truths, strengths, flaws, and imperfections - you’ll continue self-sabotaging and keeping yourself stuck.
This process isn’t easy, but it is SO damn rewarding and undeniably life-changing.
Here are a few excellent ted talks to help you start uncovering + owning your true self and deeply loving who you are.
The Case for Emotional Hygiene by Guy Winch
Societally we’ve been conditioned to favor the mind over the body. Even 5-year-olds know the importance of covering a cut or brushing their teeth - but how many of us know how to care for ourselves through failure, shame, or rejection? Our brain often tricks us with feelings of loneliness, sadness, or hopelessness that distort our perceptions and actions. It’s time to start learning exactly how to fight through negative feelings and protect our self-esteem, it’s time to learn how to really thrive.
Meet Yourself: A User's Guide to Building Self-Esteem by Niko Everett
Self-esteem is a skill that you can build - it’s a process of intentionally changing your thoughts about yourself and learning to start seeing yourself the way that the rest of the world sees you. Turn up the volume on the positive thoughts, delete the negatives, surround yourself with people who make you feel good, and sprinkle compliments like glitter - everywhere!
The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown
The most heart-centered people - humans with a strong sense of love and belonging, are that way because they believe THEY’RE WORTH love and belonging. The good news is that courage in being wrong, showing up as you are instead of how you think you should be, and embracing vulnerability can all be learned. You are imperfect and wired for struggle but you are SO worthy of love and belonging.
Why thinking You’re Ugly is Bad for You by Meghan Ramsey
Babies are born knowing that they are perfectly whole, beautiful, and complete. When did we stop looking in the mirror and loving ourselves the way they do? An age of constant communication, likes, and photoshopped images has conditioned us to evaluate our worth by our appearance - and we never think it’s enough. Deep connection, positive body talk, healthy boundaries, and self-care are the way forward.
Why Some of us Don't Have One True Calling by Emilie Wapnick
What do you want to be when you grow up? A cute question when we ask little 5-year-olds quickly can become one of the greatest sources of anxiety, overwhelm, and purposelessness as we get older. If you haven’t identified your one true calling and aren’t passionately pursuing it - there’s nothing wrong with or broken about you. You may be a multipotentialite with an abundance of interests, skills, and unique strengths that the world desperately needs.
Your Elusive Creative Genius by Elizabeth Gilbert
It’s an accepted idea that people should be afraid of the work that they’re meant to do - especially those in a creative field. It’s expected that they should fear failure, a shortage of ideas, misery and an early death. So how do we keep going on with our passion despite fear? Ancient Greece and Rome believed that creativity didn’t belong to humans, it was a divine spirit that came to people. YOU are a not a genius. There is a genius that comes to live inside every single one of us, should we nurture it.
The Power of Believing That You Can Improve by Carol Dweck
People who love a challenge understand that abilities can be developed. They have a growth mindset that recognizes that they don’t know something YET, but they can learn! On the opposite side of the spectrum, people who are stuck in a fixed mindset believe that they can’t change, resulting in fear and running away from challenges. Pushing outside of your comfort zone and challenging yourself is a learned skill! You aren’t there YET, but you will be.
I hope you love these videos as much as I do. Let me know which one is your favorite in the comments!