5 Tips to Actually Prioritize Self Care
Ah, self-care, *sigh.*
You close your eyes and pictures of serene spas, essential oils, and deep tissue massages fill your mind. Just imagining it is relaxing.
As you scroll through IG for inspiration you find endless #selfcaresundays and #treatyoself posts of radiant women, cupcakes, bubble baths, and manicured nails.
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Pardon my language, but hold the f*ck up.
When did self-care move from ya know, taking time to CARE for yourself to something that only the rich and beautiful can afford?
The last time that I checked, heading on a luxurious healing retreat in the Amazon and only drinking water and vegetable soup isn’t the only way to practice self-care.
Regular self-care is so damn important – it’s what prevents crankiness, burnout, stress, and fatigue from settling in – the same culprits that unchecked spiral straight into depression and anxiety.
But I’m willing to bet you already know that it’s important, you just haven’t gotten around to prioritizing it yet. Between work, school, social time and your family’s needs, it’s hard to justify fitting in a little ‘me time.’
As women, most of us also seem to carry the belief that practicing self-care is in some way selfish, we feel guilty taking time or spending money on ourselves.
It’s been ingrained in us that we should be able to manage everyone else’s emotional needs, excel in our careers, have the perfect body, balance a social life, and have fresh meals prepped and a clean house all without batting an eye.
And the crazy thing is – we can! Women are insanely powerful and I’m blown away every single day by the feats that we’re capable of.
So it’s not a matter of being able to do it – self-care is about how we WANT TO FEEL as we go through our days kicking ass and balancing all the things.
Self-care is our secret superpower that allows us to continue showing up and making the world a better place while feeling calm, balanced, and energized instead of exhausted, frantic, and apathetic.
Below are 5 tips that are guaranteed to help you actually start prioritizing self-care. Because you deserve to feel more than just OK.
1.Redefine what self-care means for you
YES, bubble baths, cupcakes, and ayurvedic retreats all count as self-care. But so do Netflix marathons, DIY face masks, saying no, and taking a 5-minute walk after lunch. If part of the reason that you’re not practicing self-care (more on that in a minute) is because it seems too luxurious, expensive or hard to schedule in, it’s time to redefine what it looks like for you.
Self-care is a DAILY act of surrender to where you are in that moment. It’s intentionally showing up, asking yourself what you need to feel your best, and doing that thing.
2.Get at the root of why you’re not doing it
When there’s something that we try to do again and again but can’t seem it make it happen (assuming we know how to do said thing) it’s usually a beliefs issue. Our beliefs are powerful because they inform all of our actions – they determine what we think is right, wrong, and valuable.
Take a look at your beliefs around self-care. Even though they feel VERY real, they’re ultimately just beliefs. Which means if they’re not serving you and getting in the way of you practicing self-care, it’s time to challenge and change them.
- Other people in my life have bigger more pressing problems that I need to deal with
- I have urgent deadlines that take priority over this
- I just don’t have time
- I don’t really need self-care – I’m doing fine
- My depression and anxiety wipe me out, I don’t have any motivation to start something new.
Are these beliefs true? Are there examples of them not being true? How could you work around them?
3.Get clear on what your priorities really are
When we’re not crystal clear on what matters most to us, we’re almost guaranteed to be running around from task to task like a frantic chicken. When we don’t know what’s really important – everything is important.
Take the time to make a list of what’s truly most important to you. It might look something like 1) health, 2) family, 3) work, 4) travel – or it might be wildly different! Whatever your priorities look like, once you’re clear on which ones are most important, ask yourself ‘What do I need in order to show up full for this?”
4.Schedule it into your day
Self-care is so incredibly important, it's not something we can afford to do only once a month or once every other week. Creating space in your day – even if it’s only 5-10minutes that is completely devoted to you and your wellbeing with dramatically shift things in your life – promise!
Moring and evening routines can be ideal for this as they tend to set the tone for our day. Pick 1-5 self-care activities that allow you to show up the way you want to and prioritize them before anything else. Just like the rest of our obligations - we make time for what really matters. Decide that your self-care is a non-negotiable and schedule it into your calendar as such.
5.Keep it simple!
The surest way to start implementing self-care into your everyday, no matter where you’re at or how you’re feeling is to keep it simple. This doesn’t have to be a grand routine that takes 45minutes and requires you to be up at 5am (although it certainly could be). In fact, when first starting out the simpler the better. In case your brain is still stuck in a ‘self-care is massages and bubble baths’ rut, here are a few other ideas to get you started. 😀
- Get something done – make the bed or wash the dishes
- Listen to music (not just in the background) sit and actually enjoy it
- Get lost in another world or universe in a good book
- Sit down in a long, hot shower – trust me, it’s way better than standing
- Disconnect for 30 mins, a few hours or the whole weekend. Turn your notifications off and silence your phone.
- Make a to-do list of your top three most important things to get done today and focus on just those
- Update your workspace or home – rearrange the furniture, hang up a new piece of art, buy new throw pillows or a plant
- Binge watch a series on Netflix
- Have a walking meeting or step out for 10 minutes after lunch
- Take a 5-minute break to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and do nothing else.
Let me know which of these tips was most helpful for you in the comments!