25 Things I Forced Myself to Stop Doing to Protect My Mental Health

You know all about the importance of brushing your teeth.

 

And daily showering. And eating 3 meals a day. And you know that if you get a cut, you put a band-aid on it.

 

5-year-olds know this stuff.

 

That’s because we know ALL about what we need to do in order to thrive physically.

 

You could even go so far as to say that while society puts great emphasis and value on taking care of our physical body - we all but ignore our emotional and mental health.

 

Which is crazy to me, given that our mindset and thought experiences shape literally every single thing that we do - every challenge we face, and every action we do or don’t take.

 

You want to know what’s even crazier?

 

There are mountains of tools and evidence that tell us exactly what we need to thrive mentally and emotionally.

 

Translation: you can actively protect your mental health so that you don’t feel drained, exhausted, overwhelmed, terrified, anxious, and depressed.

 

This work is VITALLY important. Why?

 

Because when you protect and strengthen your mental and emotional energies you can actually show up the way the world needs you to.

 

You can be a better mom, daughter, teacher, professional, and friend. You can show up as the world-changing human that you are.

 

Oh, and you can feel really good while you’re doing it.

 

So how you do protect and strengthen your mental health?

 

Below is a list of absolute non-negotiables that I’ve implemented over the years. Some of these have been SO hard for me to learn and follow. But man is the pay off worth it.

 

1. I do not go on my phone first thing in the morning - I start the day with a routine that grounds and inspires me.
2. I don’t judge other women for their clothes, body, brains etc. - putting them down only hurts me.
3. I don’t skimp on sleep - of course there are nights that I stay up too late, so the next day I go to sleep early. Giving my body enough time to charge and reset is vital.
4. I don’t keep social media and email notifications on my phone - I check them on my terms, I don’t NEED to be notified 24 hours a day.
5. I don’t beat myself up or judge myself for feeling anxious or down - there is NOTHING wrong or broken about it. I lean in and learn from my winters.
6. I don’t evaluate my worth based on my appearance, my education, or my productivity.
7. I don’t compare myself to other women. I don’t seethe in jealousy. I identify what about them inspires me and move on with my life.
8. I do not starve my body or obsessively count calories to lose weight and hope that I feel better about myself. I nourish my body with lots of whole foods and sometimes cookies and pizza.
9. I don’t allow myself to wallow in a depression pit for too long - I am compassionate, I love on myself and give myself permission to not be OK. And then ask myself what I need, use my tools, and dig myself out of the hole.
10. I don’t isolate myself. This one was SO hard for me to learn. Instead of shutting down and retreating when I’m starting to feel overwhelmed and unconfident, I reach out.
11. I don’t wait to have the world’s most perfectly outlined plan to start taking action. I focus on 1-3 things that I can do TODAY to make a positive difference my life and go from there.
12. I don’t eat a boatload of carbs with every meal. Carbs are delicious (and have a healthy place in your diet!) but too many send me on a hormonal and blood sugar roller coaster that leaves me feeling antsy, sad, irritable, slow, tired, and depressed.
13. I don’t abide by extreme rules or an “all or nothing/fuck it” mentality - this goes for food, relationships, work, you name it. Life is way too complex to live by extremes.
14. I do not do things that are ‘shoulds.’ Other people’s, or my own. If I’m describing something as “I should do this” it’s usually a sign that it’s not going to serve me, so I don’t do it
15. I don’t tolerate negative people in my life. I fully show up and support friends and family through difficult times, but if all they're looking to do is complain I get myself out of that relationship, FAST.
16. I do not freak when my mood slips or stumble upon a new challenge. I know that I have all the tools that I need to learn from this, grow, and move on
17. I don’t bury and shove my feelings deep down inside. I trust that I’m feeling that way for a reason, I give the emotion space to ride its course and I learn from it.
18. I don’t go more than one day without working out or moving my body in some way. It’s not always spinning and lifting - sometimes it’s yoga or a long walk but I prioritize moving my body as a way to tame my depression and anxiety AND as a confidence, feel-good boost.
19. I don’t overthink scenarios that I can’t control. I identify what I’m really afraid of, look at the worst possible outcome (which of course never actually happens) and focus on what I can control.
20. I don’t brag about and glorify stress. Stress isn’t a badge of honor. If I’m stressed I identify what needs to shift in order for me to feel better.
21. I don’t apologize for saying no. I set boundaries and if a person, event, or experience crosses them, I say no.
22. I don’t allow myself to engage in self-trash talking. I actively police the language that I use about myself (in my head and out loud with others).
23. I don’t hold onto the past. I work to recognize when old experiences and beliefs are holding me back and I let that shit go.
24. I don't question my instincts. I honor that my gut and intuition know exactly who I am and what I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t look for outside sources of validation.
25. I don’t expect myself to be perfect. I fail 1000 times per day (at this list and a million other things). But I do it with grace and self-compassion. I learn what I can and I keep moving forward.

 

Sometimes, these rules are SO HARD to follow. But they exist for a reason.

 

Because when I DON’T DO all of these things, I can handle any challenge like a goddamn unicorn.

 

What about you? What’s your list of things that you WILL NOT do moving forward?